Thoughts on the road

It's no secret that we want out of New Mexico. I will always love Taos and I will always visit Taos, my family lives there, and I'm a Taosena no matter where you put me. The behavioral health takeover was the final straw. I am insulted, disgusted, and terrified by the state of NM and I am frankly not able, in good faith, to practice behavioral health in NM as it stands now. I don't think I can subject Ellis to NM's educational system either. The rub is, I love my job and I love my family. It seems a little crazy to give up what I have at this point. Despite this predicament, Aaron, Ellis and I set out on a journey to see if we like Boise or Portland enough to relocate in the next couple years.

So here are my thoughts: I loved Boise. I love the fact that you can buy a lot of house for $200k. I love that the schools are great and public. I love that there are 24 soccer fields that are booked day in and day out with happy, active kids. I love that the city offers what you need but isn't sprawling or overwhelming. I
love that you are surrounded by rivers and lakes, mountains and bike trails that are as well defined as regular roads. I love our friends who live there. I also unabashedly love Fred Meyer stores. Who the hell knew?! 

Now, Portland: I love that the cells of every plant are buzzing with life from the unrelenting moisture. I love that moss grows in the cracks of sidewalks. I love that everything smells slightly of mildew and cedar. I love that I don't have to pump my own gas. I love how friendly people are. I love that we have friends here. I love that we are an hour from the ocean! I do struggle a bit though with wondering if the rain will depress me. I worry that the fish are radioactive from the Fukushima meltdown. Mostly though, I sort of worry that I might not be weird enough to live here. Or maybe that's the beauty of Portland? Come as you are and we will love you. 

For now what I know to be certain is that my heart hurts thinking of leaving my family, my friends, my boss and my job. Until such time as a future path is laid out, I'm going to relish in everything I adore about New Mexico. 

Everything is going to be OK.

Tomorrow afternoon I am leaving for my first vacation in three years. That is pathetic, but nonetheless very exciting. The purpose is two-fold: Check out potential places to live since New Mexico is officially the most ass backwards state in the Union, and say hello to some very good people in some very awesome locations. I'm pretty excited.

I do apologize for not writing sooner. I've been through some shit and I'm just starting to recover. Here's the skinny: my job ended because of some very shady goings on with the State and so I've been a little traumatized and pissed and really having to dig deep to know that everything will be OK. You know, speaking of everything being OK, you want to know how the Universe always reminds me that everything will work out in the end? It's fairly simple. No matter what I'm looking for, like take for instance a perfect fitting and adorable chambray shirt, it always and without fail (and not too much delay either) shows up on the racks at my favorite second hand store. LIKE ALWAYS. If that isn't proof that the Universe is on your side, I don't what is.

In other news: I am thinking about thinking about weaning my milk addicted toddler. I really love her and I think nursing babies is where it's at but I pretty much can't stand it about 85% of the time, particularly when we are at happy hour (yes, I take Ellis to happy hour and I don't care what you think). She also calls it, "Muk" which totally pisses me off since it's commonly known as "liquid gold" and people pay big bucks for this stuff. I haven't the foggiest idea how I'm going to cut her off but since we've already established that everything will be OK, I'm not worried.

Also, Aaron is home. Which invariably means that my insistence that things be done a certain way has increased. I don't know why this happens, other than the fact that there is another adult in the house now to squabble with and maybe also because I believe that I do things better than anyone else but at the end of the day I'm just going to assume, wait for it, that everything will be OK!

In Summation:
1. NM is on my shit list.
2. God loves me and I know this because I always find the clothes I want at discounted prices.
3. "Hi, my name is Ellis and I'm addicted to muk."
4. I can't delegate.
5. Packing is the pits.