Wednesday, April 30, 2014
The Pink Elephant: How to Save Your Soul (or at least be content some...
The Pink Elephant: How to Save Your Soul (or at least be content some...: Imagine a very large hourglass suspended on your dining room wall. This hourglass is filled with coins. Gold coins. It has a very simple p...
How to Save Your Soul (or at least be content sometimes)
Imagine a very large hourglass suspended on your dining room wall.
This hourglass is filled with coins. Gold coins.
It has a very simple purpose.
Every time you experience a loss, no matter how small or profound,
a coin or several, drop to the bottom chamber.
Clink. Clink, clink, clink, clink.
If the bottom chamber fills and no coins remain above, Susto, soul loss.
Imagine there is no coming back from Susto.
Once this happens, your body is not far behind.
We are but abandoned cocoons without our souls.
The hourglass has one more function.
Every joyful moment,
every act of love,
every instance of hope,
every kiss to your child's forehead,
every memory of the same,
every moment spent in your beloved's embrace,
every skip of your heartbeat,
every job well done,
every goal made,
every math problem solved,
every drop of juice from the ripest peach slipping down your chin,
every phone call to a friend,
every moment of true contact with another being,
every wag of a tail,
every song bellowed and shimmied to,
a coin lifts effortlessly back into the upper chamber.
Every laugh, giggle, sigh of relief, deep breath of gratitude, earns you a coin.
A belly laugh earns you double.
Imagine this hourglass stares you down everyday.
Every thought matters.
You have to fight the gravity of cynicism.
Find joy wherever and whenever you can.
Relish it. Savor it and be there with it.
A smile from a stranger, take it in. Let it feed you.
A waft of Jasmine, stop, and let the scent consummate you.
This hourglass is filled with coins. Gold coins.
It has a very simple purpose.
Every time you experience a loss, no matter how small or profound,
a coin or several, drop to the bottom chamber.
Clink. Clink, clink, clink, clink.
If the bottom chamber fills and no coins remain above, Susto, soul loss.
Imagine there is no coming back from Susto.
Once this happens, your body is not far behind.
We are but abandoned cocoons without our souls.
The hourglass has one more function.
Every joyful moment,
every act of love,
every instance of hope,
every kiss to your child's forehead,
every memory of the same,
every moment spent in your beloved's embrace,
every skip of your heartbeat,
every job well done,
every goal made,
every math problem solved,
every drop of juice from the ripest peach slipping down your chin,
every phone call to a friend,
every moment of true contact with another being,
every wag of a tail,
every song bellowed and shimmied to,
a coin lifts effortlessly back into the upper chamber.
Every laugh, giggle, sigh of relief, deep breath of gratitude, earns you a coin.
A belly laugh earns you double.
Imagine this hourglass stares you down everyday.
Every thought matters.
You have to fight the gravity of cynicism.
Find joy wherever and whenever you can.
Relish it. Savor it and be there with it.
A smile from a stranger, take it in. Let it feed you.
A waft of Jasmine, stop, and let the scent consummate you.
Tuesday, April 29, 2014
Shake, Shake, Shake
I have a long and sordid relationship with astrology. My mom listened to Joseph the Starwatcher in the car. He came on twice a day and I pretty much did everything I could to distract her right before but she never missed him once. She would actually interrupt me and say, excitedly, "Oh! Joseph is on honey!" And it would begin. His slow, melodic, soothing voice would start going through the seemingly endless list of astrological signs and it always felt like he was talking to us in a bathrobe. I think the thing that bothered me the most though, besides the fact that I found it utterly dull was that my mom would listen to her horoscopes, yes, you read correctly, horoscopes. She has convinced herself and everyone else that she has two birthdays. She's a Virgo and a Libra so I had to listen to those two, Aries because of my oldest brother, Aquarius because of my youngest brother, and she would always get really excited right before mine came on, "Oh, oh, oh! Gemini is next, Gemini is next!" I would stare at her from the backseat thinking, "Seriously woman? I do not care. I am 13, someone tried to kick my ass at school today, I stink, I'm in love with someone who doesn't know I exist and I would run away if I had not watched all those horror movies at my friend's house last weekend and therefore can not be farther than 4 feet from you at all times."
It took several years for me to figure out that astrology could provide insight into love relationships. Once that happened, I was hooked. I became the person who nonchalantly, and this is mortifying to admit, asked men I was interested in, when their birthdays were. At first knowing that they were a Virgo or a Taurus or whatever, sufficed. I could read their horoscope in the newspaper and eventually online but I became suspicious upon realizing that probably not all, say Pisces were going to fall in love this week. Really? All of them? Huh. That can't be right. So, tragically, I graduated to subtly trying to find out what time someone was born and where. It's true. My college roommate would groan and leave me at the bar. It must have been very embarrassing. Anyway, most people fell right into that rabbit hole. People in LA are not exactly shy about talking about themselves. Only a few asked if I was going to do their astrological chart, to which I would laugh loudly and then say something to the effect of, "Um, no. I don't really believe in that stuff, do you?" Obviously once I got the information I would promptly go home and do their astrological chart. My roommate would mutter, back turned towards me, "So, how does it look." "Bad. Very bad. Definitely not pursuing that one." Or, "Good! He's my astrological soul mate!" It was ridiculous and in hindsight, a very entertaining way to filter people.
I loved astrology until a couple years ago. On the night of Aaron's accident, there was an eclipse and I happened to have read my horoscope that day and it said that "life will never be the same after tonight." I had already begun my rapid descent from believing in the stars but still, I warned Aaron to be careful because apparently, and I repeated what my horoscope had said.
After the accident I think I got so busy and so bogged down with reality, I had no time and very little desire to read my horoscope. Shit sucked, didn't need to read about it. When that was over though and life gradually returned to normal, I started paying attention to two astrological phenomena: 1. mercury retrograde periods because knowing when technology is going to be effed helps ensure that I will not throw my electronic devices across the room. 2. Eclipses. After the accident I started looking back and some pretty crazy things have gone down at eclipse time. Bad things like being mugged at knife point in London, leaving a significant relationship after it literally blew up in my face, etc., and good things like new jobs and falling in love and starting college.
Truth be told, eclipses scare the crap out of me. I don't mind change. I am a highly adaptive person and I think the process of shedding our skin is good and healthy but I don't like abrupt change, I don't like traumatizing change and I don't like my life looking one way on Tuesday and a completely different way on Wednesday. This is what eclipses do. Whatever excess baggage you are carrying it's like the universe picks you up, shakes the shit out of you, gets rid of your baggage and then places you not so gently back on the ground. It's rude and I don't like it. I mention all this because we are in between two eclipses right now and I can't help but wonder what part of my life will shake.
I feel solid with my family. Everyone is in reasonably good health. There are no dormant volcanos ready to burst. I feel pretty good about myself so hopefully I won't shake. My job is not the most stable thing on the planet right now though. Lot's afoot. Decisions to be made. Conversations to be had. Meditation and prayer to commence. So, there it is. The job will probably shake. It's funny when you have felt something like this creeping up. "Something is going to shift," I kept telling my close colleague. "Can't you feel it?" He looks at me like I'm a nutter, "No, Dorothy, the only thing I feel shifting is my large intestine. Can we please go get food?!"
I'll keep you posted and in the meantime I will brace myself with thoughts of what adventures await me and cushion the blow with visualizations of my soul's desires waiting for my on the other side. Clarity and positive thinking are the magic wands of the universe, just FYI.
Until next week, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ic87SfqQAAM
It took several years for me to figure out that astrology could provide insight into love relationships. Once that happened, I was hooked. I became the person who nonchalantly, and this is mortifying to admit, asked men I was interested in, when their birthdays were. At first knowing that they were a Virgo or a Taurus or whatever, sufficed. I could read their horoscope in the newspaper and eventually online but I became suspicious upon realizing that probably not all, say Pisces were going to fall in love this week. Really? All of them? Huh. That can't be right. So, tragically, I graduated to subtly trying to find out what time someone was born and where. It's true. My college roommate would groan and leave me at the bar. It must have been very embarrassing. Anyway, most people fell right into that rabbit hole. People in LA are not exactly shy about talking about themselves. Only a few asked if I was going to do their astrological chart, to which I would laugh loudly and then say something to the effect of, "Um, no. I don't really believe in that stuff, do you?" Obviously once I got the information I would promptly go home and do their astrological chart. My roommate would mutter, back turned towards me, "So, how does it look." "Bad. Very bad. Definitely not pursuing that one." Or, "Good! He's my astrological soul mate!" It was ridiculous and in hindsight, a very entertaining way to filter people.
I loved astrology until a couple years ago. On the night of Aaron's accident, there was an eclipse and I happened to have read my horoscope that day and it said that "life will never be the same after tonight." I had already begun my rapid descent from believing in the stars but still, I warned Aaron to be careful because apparently, and I repeated what my horoscope had said.
After the accident I think I got so busy and so bogged down with reality, I had no time and very little desire to read my horoscope. Shit sucked, didn't need to read about it. When that was over though and life gradually returned to normal, I started paying attention to two astrological phenomena: 1. mercury retrograde periods because knowing when technology is going to be effed helps ensure that I will not throw my electronic devices across the room. 2. Eclipses. After the accident I started looking back and some pretty crazy things have gone down at eclipse time. Bad things like being mugged at knife point in London, leaving a significant relationship after it literally blew up in my face, etc., and good things like new jobs and falling in love and starting college.
Truth be told, eclipses scare the crap out of me. I don't mind change. I am a highly adaptive person and I think the process of shedding our skin is good and healthy but I don't like abrupt change, I don't like traumatizing change and I don't like my life looking one way on Tuesday and a completely different way on Wednesday. This is what eclipses do. Whatever excess baggage you are carrying it's like the universe picks you up, shakes the shit out of you, gets rid of your baggage and then places you not so gently back on the ground. It's rude and I don't like it. I mention all this because we are in between two eclipses right now and I can't help but wonder what part of my life will shake.
I feel solid with my family. Everyone is in reasonably good health. There are no dormant volcanos ready to burst. I feel pretty good about myself so hopefully I won't shake. My job is not the most stable thing on the planet right now though. Lot's afoot. Decisions to be made. Conversations to be had. Meditation and prayer to commence. So, there it is. The job will probably shake. It's funny when you have felt something like this creeping up. "Something is going to shift," I kept telling my close colleague. "Can't you feel it?" He looks at me like I'm a nutter, "No, Dorothy, the only thing I feel shifting is my large intestine. Can we please go get food?!"
I'll keep you posted and in the meantime I will brace myself with thoughts of what adventures await me and cushion the blow with visualizations of my soul's desires waiting for my on the other side. Clarity and positive thinking are the magic wands of the universe, just FYI.
Until next week, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ic87SfqQAAM
Wednesday, April 23, 2014
The Pink Elephant: Hump Day Musings
The Pink Elephant: Hump Day Musings: There's this guy at work. He's married. He has kids. He does the insanity workout every night and his wife packs his lunch every mor...
Hump Day Musings
There's this guy at work. He's married. He has kids. He does the insanity workout every night and his wife packs his lunch every morning full of protein and complex carbs. When he comes to work he beelines for Rebecca's office (names have been changed to protect the guilty). Rebecca and him are clearly...something. I don't think they're having an affair because people who are married and who are having affairs usually attempt to hide it. Rebecca and him can't stay away from each other though for longer than 10 minutes. It's actually quite nauseating and if I had the power, I would fire them both and hire two people who could flirt with coworkers and get their work done.
Today as I was walking towards my car, I saw them chatting in a corridor. They were standing close together, giggling. I instantly thought of his wife and I hoped that she was a very dim witted woman. I hoped that she had no clue what he was up to. I hoped that she liked making copious amounts of protein every night so much that she didn't even notice that he was coming home with an extra spring in his step and when she asked how work was, I hoped he had the decency to complain about all of us and tell her what a drag work is.
I have no patience for cheaters. I think they're weak, selfish and they don't deserve to be loved by someone who would never do the same to them. That being said, I think it is normal and expected to be attracted to other people. I'm not the only attractive person on the planet, I'm sure Aaron will meet/has met a woman he finds attractive. Is he going to ruin his family for her, no, and that is the difference between Aaron and the guy at work.
If you are unlucky enough to be married and to have a crush on a coworker. The worst possible thing you can do is make yourself wholly available to your crush. It's called willpower people. Be bigger and wiser than a 4 year old. You don't have to actualize all things you desire. Sometimes, it pays to sacrifice the immediate for the long term.
Have you heard of the marshmallow study? If I tell you this, you have to promise that you won't try it on your kids. Promise? Ok, so marshmallow study is you give a kid a marshmallow and say you can eat this now or if you wait you can have two marshmallows. Then you leave the room. How rude right? Well, the kids who waited for two marshmallows (delayed gratification) were wildly more successful in life than the kids who said, "Fuck it. I want my marshmallow now!"
When it comes to attraction, don't be the fool at work. Two marshmallows are better than one.
Today as I was walking towards my car, I saw them chatting in a corridor. They were standing close together, giggling. I instantly thought of his wife and I hoped that she was a very dim witted woman. I hoped that she had no clue what he was up to. I hoped that she liked making copious amounts of protein every night so much that she didn't even notice that he was coming home with an extra spring in his step and when she asked how work was, I hoped he had the decency to complain about all of us and tell her what a drag work is.
I have no patience for cheaters. I think they're weak, selfish and they don't deserve to be loved by someone who would never do the same to them. That being said, I think it is normal and expected to be attracted to other people. I'm not the only attractive person on the planet, I'm sure Aaron will meet/has met a woman he finds attractive. Is he going to ruin his family for her, no, and that is the difference between Aaron and the guy at work.
If you are unlucky enough to be married and to have a crush on a coworker. The worst possible thing you can do is make yourself wholly available to your crush. It's called willpower people. Be bigger and wiser than a 4 year old. You don't have to actualize all things you desire. Sometimes, it pays to sacrifice the immediate for the long term.
Have you heard of the marshmallow study? If I tell you this, you have to promise that you won't try it on your kids. Promise? Ok, so marshmallow study is you give a kid a marshmallow and say you can eat this now or if you wait you can have two marshmallows. Then you leave the room. How rude right? Well, the kids who waited for two marshmallows (delayed gratification) were wildly more successful in life than the kids who said, "Fuck it. I want my marshmallow now!"
When it comes to attraction, don't be the fool at work. Two marshmallows are better than one.
Tuesday, April 22, 2014
Prenup Baby, Prenup
My relationship with love has undergone many reconstructions. When I was younger I wanted to get married as soon as I finished undergrad. When I graduated I was the first to admit that I was far from wanting nor being ready for marriage so I pushed my get-married deadline to 28. I met someone when I was 28 and we probably would have gotten married but we would have also gotten divorced.
It was this relationship that changed me the most and I owe this person much gratitude because I learned:
a) That I love myself above all other people (this was before Ellis came into being).
b) Love is a verb. It takes work. Even if you're "meant to be", you can not sit idly by and assume your relationship will take care of itself. You have to stay vigilant.
c) If your partner can not let you grow and/or you can not let your partner grow, it will never, ever work out. If by sheer luck it does, you will both be miserable so you better hope it doesn't work out. d) If you don't have trust and if you can't talk to each other, you don't have anything.
e) Relationships, like business partnerships, are agreements. If you walked into the board room and told your boss to stick it, your agreement would most likely be over. Relationships are no different. If you treat your partner like crap, eventually they will figure out that there is somewhere else they can go where they will be treated better and they will leave your ass.
f) Finally, if there is a problem in your relationship, no matter how big or small, address is NOW. Do not wait and hope it will address itself. It will not. Relationship issues are tumorous. They very rarely go away on their own and even if they're benign, they still grow and can leave you looking very unsightly.
It's no surprise then, that Aaron and I met when we did and that we both share a love of honesty, independence, and realistic expectations. We have "board meetings" or if we're discussing parenting, we call them "treatment team meetings." We see a therapist from time to time if we reach an impasse, but 99% of the time, we can figure out our own issues. So in keeping, yesterday Aaron and I met at our lawyer's office to start working on our prenuptial agreement. I am always so shocked by how people react when you mention a prenup. Personally, I think they should be mandatory. Prenups and parenting classes. Shit, may as well add pre-marital relationship classes to that as well.
For those of you who think prenups are only for google execs and professional athletes, they're not. Basically, a prenup is a divorce agreement that you and your fiancé write together when you're still in love. Why the hell wouldn't you do that?! I don't know about you, but every divorce I can think of, sans maybe 2 or 3, were ugly, bitter, mean, expensive as hell and very rarely, fair. Aaron and I have every intention of staying together until we're changing each other's diapers and accidentally using each other's dentures, but you know, shit happens. One of us could go crazier. One of us could hit our heads really, really hard and our personality could change (I know someone that this happened to. He was a weird dude before but then he got a TBI and turned into a total asshole).
I'm all for romance and I hate fighting. If a relationship doesn't work out, let it be because your souls are no longer compatible. Fighting over money is so 1985.
It was this relationship that changed me the most and I owe this person much gratitude because I learned:
a) That I love myself above all other people (this was before Ellis came into being).
b) Love is a verb. It takes work. Even if you're "meant to be", you can not sit idly by and assume your relationship will take care of itself. You have to stay vigilant.
c) If your partner can not let you grow and/or you can not let your partner grow, it will never, ever work out. If by sheer luck it does, you will both be miserable so you better hope it doesn't work out. d) If you don't have trust and if you can't talk to each other, you don't have anything.
e) Relationships, like business partnerships, are agreements. If you walked into the board room and told your boss to stick it, your agreement would most likely be over. Relationships are no different. If you treat your partner like crap, eventually they will figure out that there is somewhere else they can go where they will be treated better and they will leave your ass.
f) Finally, if there is a problem in your relationship, no matter how big or small, address is NOW. Do not wait and hope it will address itself. It will not. Relationship issues are tumorous. They very rarely go away on their own and even if they're benign, they still grow and can leave you looking very unsightly.
It's no surprise then, that Aaron and I met when we did and that we both share a love of honesty, independence, and realistic expectations. We have "board meetings" or if we're discussing parenting, we call them "treatment team meetings." We see a therapist from time to time if we reach an impasse, but 99% of the time, we can figure out our own issues. So in keeping, yesterday Aaron and I met at our lawyer's office to start working on our prenuptial agreement. I am always so shocked by how people react when you mention a prenup. Personally, I think they should be mandatory. Prenups and parenting classes. Shit, may as well add pre-marital relationship classes to that as well.
For those of you who think prenups are only for google execs and professional athletes, they're not. Basically, a prenup is a divorce agreement that you and your fiancé write together when you're still in love. Why the hell wouldn't you do that?! I don't know about you, but every divorce I can think of, sans maybe 2 or 3, were ugly, bitter, mean, expensive as hell and very rarely, fair. Aaron and I have every intention of staying together until we're changing each other's diapers and accidentally using each other's dentures, but you know, shit happens. One of us could go crazier. One of us could hit our heads really, really hard and our personality could change (I know someone that this happened to. He was a weird dude before but then he got a TBI and turned into a total asshole).
I'm all for romance and I hate fighting. If a relationship doesn't work out, let it be because your souls are no longer compatible. Fighting over money is so 1985.
Wednesday, April 16, 2014
The Pink Elephant: Signs
The Pink Elephant: Signs: I would make a really good fanatical religious person. I pretty much believe that most of the things that happen to me are personal signs fr...
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