Monday, October 29, 2012

Clarity = Divine Intervetion

I can say that I have had three profoundly spiritual experiences in my life. One, while sitting in the hot tub at the Northside Gym in Taos, NM. I know, it sounds  ridiculous but it's true. I was living in Los Angeles at the time, had wonderful friends, was dating a brilliant screenwriter, was about to move in with one of my best friends but there was something nagging at me. So I was home visiting my family, was enjoying my post-workout soak and asked myself, "what if?" What if I did what was best for me? What kinds of decisions would I make then? Just then, the tree I had been staring at became so brilliantly clear. I could see every branch, every weave of wood, every knot, and the moon made the bark shine silver. I don't know what happened in that moment but I experienced absolute clarity. I knew I needed to come home. Home to the place I had vowed NEVER to live again. I knew with 100% certainty. And so it was.

The second most profound spiritual experience in my life was when I left the man I thought I was going to be with forever. He was as far as I could see. I loved him more than I thought possible and the worst conceivable possibility was that we wouldn't be together. Ours was a dark love though. We brought out the most wounded parts of each other. So even though I couldn't imagine letting him go, when it became painfully obvious that I had to, my life that had become a skeletal version of what it was before I met him, suddenly, in just days, blossomed! Despite the pain I was in, I again had been blessed with 100% certainty that I was moving in the right direction.

Third most profound spiritual experience was Aaron's accident. Well, to be specific, it was all of you. My life had shattered and you all, collectively, put it back together. I had never been so terrified and  so loved in my life. And I knew (somewhere inside) that we would be okay.


  1. That piece of ground by the northside hottub is hallowed. I also had a profound experience sitting in it, years before I moved to Taos.