Sunday, September 30, 2012

A few things

A few things:

First, I have a fresh jar of goat cheese from farmer's market and I just ran out of nut-thins. God dangit. I love having a glass of wine and some nut-thins with goat cheese. I'm not above eating goat cheese by the spoonful but it's rather undignified so I will refrain.

Secondly, I can't stop thinking about this house. SO much has to happen before I can move all of our new furniture into it (I kid) but I will know more tomorrow after our mortgage broker runs some numbers...still, I have BIG ideas. BIG, HUGE, and it's so much fun to think about.

Third, my tire blew out today and by the grace of god, we were about 100 feet from our front door and we were traveling at about 7 miles per hour. Thank you, thank you, thank you for keeping us safe. Thank you.

Fourth, Aaron come home Tuesday and fire season is officially over...I think. At any rate, reentry is always interesting, especially with two bull headed folks like us.

Fifth, work is CRAZY busy, or my new favorite, cray-cray busy. Ha, hilarious. Anyway, my intention for this week is to stay calm, focused and productive. CFP baby!

That's it for tonight folks. I know, this is not my most brilliant work. Whevs.

Friday, September 28, 2012

Purgy Purgy

I haven't diagnosed myself in awhile so here goes: Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. This is not manifesting mind you, in having to wash my hands until they crack open, or count to 14 before I step into the front door, no, no, for me it's all about the purge. I just have this unshakable desire to throw away all of our crap. When I see our house in my mind I see something completely different than the reality of the situation, which is chaos and over-consumption. So every now and then, like tonight for example, I gather the troops, i.e., trash bags, and I start going through my clothes because really it's my clothes that are the biggest issue. I toss a shirt into the "give-away" bag, and then pass by ten articles of clothing, throw the eleventh in the "give-away" bag, and so on and so forth. This is not working! At the end of my every-tenth-article-of-clothing-must-go I still have way too many f-ing clothes. Someone once told me that if I haven't worn something in six months, get rid of it. That does not work for someone who was recently-ish pregnant. I haven't worn any of the clothes I love so much in almost two years, so essentially I have two wardrobes, the one I can fit into now and the one I used to fit into but will NEVER get rid of because then I've conceded to never fitting into them again and that ain't gon' happen people. So the two wardrobes stay and so do the duck decoys (that is ALL Aaron). I may just be a moderate hoarder. No, it can't be. I throw stuff away weekly, but the big purge, the one I'm really needing, has yet to happen.

So, where is this coming from? Well, Aaron and I have been house hunting. I know, exciting! The first house that I was interested in was big and roomy and I had a lot of fantasies about how much space Ellis would have to strut her stuff. I also had a lot of fantasies about how much closet space there was and how I wouldn't have to get rid of anything ever again! Alas, this house was a shit show. I equated it to Aaron, as he is gone on a fire, to a really hot girl who's all screwed up. It looks pretty but it's all messed up inside. The heating system was, excuse the expression, retarded, the septic system would have been a pain in the ass, the windows don't open without beating them, and the roof leaks, like everywhere. We found this out before the inspection so I who knows what else was wrong with it. I can't stomach spending as much money as they were asking to have that big of a to-do list when we moved in so I canned it. I'm not one to sit around a mope, so the very same day I found house #2, which is considerably smaller but was constructed beautifully, efficiently and is immaculate inside. So immaculate that I instantly thought, "We are too messy to move in here! We will have start all over! IKEA here we come!" Aaron doesn't know this by the way and its all his furniture that we would be getting rid of so I hope he doesn't mind. Anyway, we haven't even made an offer and I'm already wanting to purge our stuff so we don't mar the beauty that is this house.

So this is my game plan. I need a girlfriend or two and a bottle of wine or two to sit with me and help purge  my clothes. If you ask me I won't get rid of anything, I love every piece! My friends, they won't care, they'll be brutal and I will argue but I will let them win. This new house, should it become ours, deserves only the best.

Saturday, September 8, 2012

Phone apps and other news

I just want everyone to know that I have an app on my phone called the "Offender Locator," which, as the name connotes, locates all sexual perpetrators within a 50 mile radius of wherever you might be in the United States. These are the kind of apps I have been inclined to download since becoming a mother. I also have the "Family Doctor" app, which helps me determine what life-threatening illness me or my loved ones might be dying from at any given time.

Aaron, Ellis and I are in Colorado celebrating a cousin's wedding, so naturally after tucking Ellis into bed last night, I tapped into the Offender Locator and was pleased to see that there are only 4 sexual perpetrators within a 50 mile radius of us. This only helps to confirm that I live in one of the most depraved states in the Union. Whenever I run the Offender Locator in New Mexico, I get pages and pages of offenders, some I actually know or recognize from the post office. This is highly disturbing to me but at least I know what they look like, who they're related to, where they live and what their post office box number is. This way Ellis will never, ever come into contact with them.

In other news, I successfully fought off a cold. Also since becoming a mother, colds and other annoying ailments are out of the question. I have no time to sit around and wish I was feeling better. No time to watch Legally Blonde and feel sorry for myself. No time to call my mom and convince her to brave the germ infested air in my house to bring me green chili stew. NO TIME. I have shit to do, a child to raise, money to make. This is serious business. So, I was pleased, to say the least, that I was able to fight off the cold before even the first drop of snot appeared. Who's kidding who here, mostly I'm pleased because they have good beer in Colorado and I'm well enough to imbibe.

And finally, one of Aaron's family members made a rude comment about him and I not being married and it annoyed the crap out of me. I don't see how our nuptialness is any one's business but our own and if everyone hasn't noticed, there is really no reason for a professional, educated woman to get married anymore. Whatever, Aaron and I will wed someday, someday when he learns to stop arguing with me, just kidding, and that day will be grand and well worth the wait. Bollocks to anyone who doesn't understand.