Tuesday, September 29, 2015

Day 2

Internal Dialogue

12:10 PM - Could work be anymore stressful today? Stupid question. Of course it could. But why, why must we all implode on the same day? Can't we space it out? Maybe it's good they all do it on one day because then I get it over with. This would be a great time to do yoga. Right now. Right when my blood is boiling, my smile is turning fake, and my eyes are squinting at the receptionist who keeps asking me questions that are all leading up to, "Am I getting a raise?" Can't you tell this is not a wise time to ask me for a raise? Yoga will be good today. So glad I made this commitment. *Note to self: bring yoga mat everywhere. Yes, be that person.

3:47 PM - Son of a bitch! I do not want to do yoga. I want to drink wine and watch Harry Potter.

5:03 PM - So. hungry.

5:30 PM - Oh, lasagna...

9:12 PM - Oh my God. Still haven't done yoga. Actually went back to work after dinner to avoid doing yoga. I am so fascinated by myself. I didn't know I could be so avoidant! Crazy. Ok, I can't handle how mean and judgemental I will be to myself if I don't do this so, here we go. Bedtime yoga sequence. Will check in after if I stay awake.

9:22 PM - Returning work emails....

I did it.
It was delicious [Rolls eyes at herself].
No, but it was. I am a ball of stress. My body makes noises when I move my limbs. I'm not going to do something stupid and commit to stretching before bed for the next 30 days, but I can see how that might be helpful. In other news, pushing a baby out of my vagina for 36 hours did a number on my hips. They're tight as f**k. This may have something to do with my nearly constant low back pain.

I fell asleep in savasana, which is par for the course. Was happy that my open mouth snore was caught only by this guy (see below). He's really good at savasana by the way. He practices all day. They say it's the hardest pose. My yogi Jaco.

Alright, y'all. Let's see how tomorrow goes. Should I take my yoga mat to the Albuquerque office and bust a move? That staff is still getting used to me. I rapped to them about essential oils last time I was down there so I may as well whip out my yoga mat, keep 'em guessin'. 

Monday, September 28, 2015

30 Days of Yoga

I have committed to 30 days of yoga and I'm already pissed off about it.

Yoga and I go way back. Mom used to take me to her yoga classes when I was about four or five. I found them dreadfully boring. I did however, enjoy the 1980's yoga outfits that looked like they hailed from The Chorus Line. This could be the root of my fascination with thongs. Yoga and I then met again in my early twenties when I was living in LA, and of course had to jump on the Bikram bandwagon. I still love Bikram yoga even though we are fairly certain the founder is a daft pig who hates women. Regardless, I watched a woman literally transform before my eyes by doing Bikram everyday and abstaining from Burger King. Powerful stuff, that sweating is. THEN, I moved back to Taos, felt lost, couldn't find a job, and so I spent most of my time at the gym, in the mountains, and in dying warrior. Within a few years, all my yoga teachers moved away so I took it as a sign, threw in my yoga mat and started jogging instead (Truth be told, I jog sometimes. Like twice a month).

I don't particularly like yoga people. This sounds terribly judgemental and I don't mean to dismiss an entire group of people. By in large though, if I see a "I <3 Yoga" sticker on your volkswagon, we probably won't be close friends. It's not you. It's me. I'm fiercely competative and there is no avenue for this in yoga and so I take it out on all of you. It's unhealthy. I know. I practice at home now, beacuse I'm such an asshole.

Like most insane relationships, yoga summons me. It's been summoning me now for a couple years. I have every single yoga studio schedule saved on my ipad. I never go. To any of them. Sometimes my phone dings at me in the middle of the day reminding me that it's time to go to yoga. I haven't been to a yoga class in three years. Still, my resistance to yoga is interesting to me because it has the potential to vastly improve my life, as it has done for me many times before.

This is all to say that I have decided to start a 30 day yoga journey. I completed my first day today and I found myself thinking about beer for most of it. I like my online teacher though. She's funny and cute and has a strange haircut like a Portland, OR based yogi should. I'll keep you posted. If, by the end, I run out and buy an "I <3 Yoga" sticker, I will totally understand if you don't want to be my friend anymore.