Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Hump Day Musings

There's this guy at work. He's married. He has kids. He does the insanity workout every night and his wife packs his lunch every morning full of protein and complex carbs. When he comes to work he beelines for Rebecca's office (names have been changed to protect the guilty). Rebecca and him are clearly...something. I don't think they're having an affair because people who are married and who are having affairs usually attempt to hide it. Rebecca and him can't stay away from each other though for longer than 10 minutes. It's actually quite nauseating and if I had the power, I would fire them both and hire two people who could flirt with coworkers and get their work done.

Today as I was walking towards my car, I saw them chatting in a corridor. They were standing close together, giggling. I instantly thought of his wife and I hoped that she was a very dim witted woman. I hoped that she had no clue what he was up to. I hoped that she liked making copious amounts of protein every night so much that she didn't even notice that he was coming home with an extra spring in his step and when she asked how work was, I hoped he had the decency to complain about all of us and tell her what a drag work is.

I have no patience for cheaters. I think they're weak, selfish and they don't deserve to be loved by someone who would never do the same to them. That being said, I think it is normal and expected to be attracted to other people. I'm not the only attractive person on the planet, I'm sure Aaron will meet/has met a woman he finds attractive. Is he going to ruin his family for her, no, and that is the difference between Aaron and the guy at work.

If you are unlucky enough to be married and to have a crush on a coworker. The worst possible thing you can do is make yourself wholly available to your crush. It's called willpower people. Be bigger and wiser than a 4 year old. You don't have to actualize all things you desire. Sometimes, it pays to sacrifice the immediate for the long term.

Have you heard of the marshmallow study? If I tell you this, you have to promise that you won't try it on your kids. Promise? Ok, so marshmallow study is you give a kid a marshmallow and say you can eat this now or if you wait you can have two marshmallows. Then you leave the room. How rude right? Well, the kids who waited for two marshmallows (delayed gratification) were wildly more successful in life than the kids who said, "Fuck it. I want my marshmallow now!"

When it comes to attraction, don't be the fool at work. Two marshmallows are better than one.

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