Monday, September 28, 2015

30 Days of Yoga

I have committed to 30 days of yoga and I'm already pissed off about it.

Yoga and I go way back. Mom used to take me to her yoga classes when I was about four or five. I found them dreadfully boring. I did however, enjoy the 1980's yoga outfits that looked like they hailed from The Chorus Line. This could be the root of my fascination with thongs. Yoga and I then met again in my early twenties when I was living in LA, and of course had to jump on the Bikram bandwagon. I still love Bikram yoga even though we are fairly certain the founder is a daft pig who hates women. Regardless, I watched a woman literally transform before my eyes by doing Bikram everyday and abstaining from Burger King. Powerful stuff, that sweating is. THEN, I moved back to Taos, felt lost, couldn't find a job, and so I spent most of my time at the gym, in the mountains, and in dying warrior. Within a few years, all my yoga teachers moved away so I took it as a sign, threw in my yoga mat and started jogging instead (Truth be told, I jog sometimes. Like twice a month).

I don't particularly like yoga people. This sounds terribly judgemental and I don't mean to dismiss an entire group of people. By in large though, if I see a "I <3 Yoga" sticker on your volkswagon, we probably won't be close friends. It's not you. It's me. I'm fiercely competative and there is no avenue for this in yoga and so I take it out on all of you. It's unhealthy. I know. I practice at home now, beacuse I'm such an asshole.

Like most insane relationships, yoga summons me. It's been summoning me now for a couple years. I have every single yoga studio schedule saved on my ipad. I never go. To any of them. Sometimes my phone dings at me in the middle of the day reminding me that it's time to go to yoga. I haven't been to a yoga class in three years. Still, my resistance to yoga is interesting to me because it has the potential to vastly improve my life, as it has done for me many times before.

This is all to say that I have decided to start a 30 day yoga journey. I completed my first day today and I found myself thinking about beer for most of it. I like my online teacher though. She's funny and cute and has a strange haircut like a Portland, OR based yogi should. I'll keep you posted. If, by the end, I run out and buy an "I <3 Yoga" sticker, I will totally understand if you don't want to be my friend anymore.


  1. If you need a competitor, I'm game. :) (I can't figure out how to identify myself on this thing so I'll say I'm the mother of Vida and Gilly :))

  2. Yo! Done! How does one compete without pulling a hammy...?