Tuesday, October 1, 2013

If only I were Swedish

Is it unreasonable for me to expect that my house be spotless? I have a toddler and I'm not the cleanest person on the planet and either is Aaron, so I guess it is unreasonable. Still, I crave a Pottery Barn/Restoration Hardware/Some Amazing Minimalist House in Sweden sort of d├ęcor in my home and no matter how badly I try, I just can not actualize it. Can you tell I'm having a bout of OCD tonight?

Speaking of OCD, Portland is way too dirty for me to live in. It's dirty on purpose, I realize, but all the same, I would have to be put on large amounts of Zoloft to make that work. And I can't rock the trendy glasses and I can't bring myself to call everyone "friend." It's a nice thought, and I tried it when I ordered some eggs but it just didn't come out right. Like when I try to roll my R's, that never comes out right either. Since my soul mate Jehan is there I will visit and drink copious amounts of wine and beer and wear my new Hunter boots all the while keeping my wannabe Swedish opinions to myself.

Did you know the key to a clutter free home is clear counter space. It does actually work but where, pray tell, do I put all my shit if I can't put it on one of my counter tops? Maybe I need to embrace the chaos in my life. Glory in the mess. Pretend I'm Diane Keaton and I get cuter the more disorganized my life becomes.

That's all I have to say tonight. I'm going to take a sleeping pill, which is actually just fancy Benedryl I found out (nice one Doc) and go to sleep now. Cheers.

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